Hopeful Confession
by LovesickFox
Summary: The war is over and Hermione has returned to Hogwarts to retake her 7th year. After nearly losing the Potion's Master once, she refuses to keep her feelings for him hidden any longer. But how will the surly Professor take this news? Will they be able to form a friendship at least, or will Hermione be forced to live the next year in embarrassment? (AU, EWE. M for future chapters)
1. Chapter 1

The cold wind blew through the castle's dark, empty hallways as a lone figure made her way to the dungeons. She crept past the sleeping portraits and hurried down the seemingly never-ending stairs. Eventually she stopped outside a dark wooden door, deep within the dark recesses of the castle. She raised her hand and hesitated a moment before knocking clearly, the sound echoing off the surrounding stone. It seemed like she was waiting a lifetime and had contemplated turning back before the door finally opened with a dull creak.

Standing in the door way in his signature black robes was a rather annoyed looking potions master.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit at such an ungodly hour, Miss Granger?" He sneered, looking down at a trembling Hermione who had just disturbed his already infrequent alone time.

"P-professor, I was hoping I could speak with you for a moment." She tried to remain confident and cursed the waver in her voice that betrayed her nervousness.

"And what could possibly be so important that it could not wait until tomorrow morning?"

Hermione struggled to come up with a reasonable sounding explanation. She couldn't very well just come out and tell him that she was having trouble getting to sleep because he kept invading her thoughts.

She had developed an attraction to Professor Snape during her 6th year at Hogwarts but hadn't done anything about it because it was simply a foolish idea. Now that the war was over and she had returned to finish her studies, she'd rethought her decision. After his close shave with death Hermione didn't want to risk losing him again. But how could she get her feelings for him across?

She'd gone against her better judgement that night and had ran out of her room without even formulating a proper strategy to actually get into his office. So now that she was standing there, feeling irritation practically radiating off her Professor, she had no idea what she could possibly do to move ahead with the situation.

"Well? I am waiting, Miss Granger. Do I need to give you detention not only for being out of your dorm this late but also for disturbing my peace and wasting my time?" He was glaring at her now, his black eyes glinting with barely restrained anger.

"Well, you see Professor. I have some things on my mind, and I can't rest until they're sorted."

"And why come to me of all people? I'm sure one of your Gryffindor half-wits can help your with that at least. Good night, Miss Granger." He began to close the door but Hermione held it open.

"No, definitely not, Professor. I really need to talk to you. You can take away house points; give me a month's detention, whatever. Just please hear me out."

"Oh I hardly think a month will suffice," he mumbled but opened the door wider so she could pass through into his office.

Once she was inside he strolled over to his desk, folding his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the smooth parchment-covered surface. He raised his eyebrow and nodded expectantly, signalling her to get on with whatever it was she was bothering him with. Hermione clutched at the edge of her cloak and shifted her weight uneasily, wondering how to start.

"For a while now, Professor, I've had something on my mind that I've always pushed away and tried to forget about. It was something that I didn't really want to admit, even to myself, so I tried to pretend like it wasn't there at all. It was foolish and I knew how impossible it was from the very first moment I thought it. Unfortunately that didn't stop it manifesting and growing into something I could no longer control." She was looking anywhere but her Professor's piercing gaze. She could feel her cheeks beginning to warm and her palms became clammy. "However, now that the war is over and everything seems to be returning to a state of normality, there's been nothing to distract me from it."

Snape sighed, "Are you going anywhere with this. I fear at this rate we will be here all night." When she seemed to recoil he sighed again. "Just get to the point, Miss Granger."

"Very well." She swallowed thickly and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself and stop tears of embarrassment from falling to her cheeks. "Professor Snape, I believe I harbour feelings for you that are not entirely appropriate for a student to have towards her teacher." She chanced a quick glance to gauge his reaction, and wasn't entirely surprised to see his expression hadn't changed. Though she did feel a pang of disappointment. "I know how stupid this sounds and it's probably the last thing you want to hear, especially from me, but I couldn't bare it anymore. Whenever I see you I just can't concentrate and I get so confused. I can't stop thinking about you and I'm worried it might have adverse affects on my results, not just in potions but in my other classes too. That's why I wanted to talk with you about it. Hopefully you could knock some sense into me and things could return to normal."

There was a long silence and Hermione refused to look up, only the shifting of fabric alerting her that he had moved. "I would say that your grades should be the least of your concerns, Miss Granger." He was closer now and Hermione saw his black leather boots enter her field of vision but refused to look up at him.

"W-what do you mean, professor?" She stuttered. She heard him sigh and looked up at him to be met with a face she didn't wholly recognise as her teacher. He looked drained and vulnerable. Like he'd just been given a decision that could change the fate of the world.

"I mean, Miss Granger, that you should be more concerned with the actual unhealthy infatuation itself. I am your teacher and so you are correct in saying that these feelings are completely inappropriate and I suggest you rid yourself of them immediately." He turned away from her and stood rigid, clearly waiting for some kind of incredibly uncomfortable emotional outburst. But none came.

Instead Hermione simply turned around, pulled her cloak tighter around her trembling body, and, muttering a quiet 'good night', fled from the room and back along the dark corridors.

Once Severus was sure she'd gone he let out a long groan. This was the last thing he needed, a hormonal teen forming a silly little crush on him. And not just any teen, but the annoying know-it-all of the bloody Golden Trio. Deciding not to dwell on the encounter any further, he retreated to his rooms and sat by the fire, hoping a good book would help him calm down.

* * *

><p>Hermione woke up the next morning and immediately let out a pained groan. Had she really done that? Had she seriously told the 'greasy git' that she had feelings for him? <em>Maybe I can just hide away for the rest of the year<em> she thought, attempting to burrow her way further beneath the duvet. But she couldn't. Maybe if she'd waited until after graduation when she wouldn't have to see him again it would have been easier. But no, it was merely 2 and a half months into the first term. At least the Christmas holidays weren't too far away, but even that wouldn't give her much reprieve. She was staying at the castle anyway.

Getting up out of bed Hermione found herself appreciating the head girl quarters. Not sharing with the other girls meant there were no awkward questions as to her emotional state as she went about reluctantly getting ready.

Once she was fully dressed Hermione slowly made here way to the great hall for breakfast, becoming more and more anxious as she neared the doors. As soon as she entered her vision zoned in on the head table where the subject of her thoughts sat glaring at his plate of food like it had caused him great offence. He didn't look up and so she was saved from having to meet his gaze as she hurried to the Gryffindor table.

She sat at the end away from the chatter and quickly downed her food, wanting to stay there for as short a time as possible. Standing once more she chanced one more look up to the teachers and found her eyes meeting with the bottomless black of the Potions Master's. She froze, unable to look away as she felt heat rise to her cheeks. Then all at once the moment passed and she high-tailed it out of the room.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," she mumbled to herself as she made her way to her first class. _How am I going to face him in lessons? It's all gone to hell now._

Arriving at the arithmancy classroom Hermione prepared to launch herself fully into her work in order to take her mind off the whole situation until she'd have to deal with it 'for real' when she went to potions last lesson.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day passed relatively quietly. At lunch she refused to look up to the head table and managed to lose herself in work. However now she was unable to run from it any more.<p>

She was stood before the dark wooden doors of the potions classroom. It was the last lesson of the day and after that she'd be able to retreat to her room again. She took deep steadying breaths to try and calm herself down before she stepped through into the cold, dark room. Professor Snape had yet to arrive and so she quickly slipped into an empty chair near the back of the room. Unloading all of her equipment Hermione heard the tell tale footsteps just outside the door and steeled herself just before the Professor made his usual dramatic entrance. _God I love it when he does that. _

Snape looked over the class with his usual distain before flicking his wand in the general direction of the black board.

"These are the instructions for the potion you are going to be making today, they can be found on page 276 of your text books. Begin." There was a rush to the store cupboard as everyone collected the required ingredients and then got to work on that day's assignment.

It was ten minutes before the end of the lesson and Hermione had just about finished her potion. She hadn't been as distracted as she thought she would be once she got engrossed in the brewing process and Professor Snape had thankfully avoided the area of the classroom she resided in. That was until she was getting ready to add the last ingredient.

He stalked silently around the classroom as usual and stepped up behind Hermione, looking over her shoulder to check her potion. Hermione noticed his warmth at her back almost immediately and tensed instantly. Her hands shook as she manoeuvred the last of the mandrake root into her potion. She felt his breath caressing her neck as he let out a small sigh.

"Slow down Miss Granger. You'll ruin the viscosity if you add the mandrake root too quickly." His voice was low, but no less lecturing.

Hermione gave a small nod, adding the ingredient slower and with more care.

"That is, acceptable. Bottle the potion and put it on my desk."

Again Hermione nodded but he was already gone. She quickly transferred her potion into a small flask and after labeling it took it over to the desk where Snape now sat.

"You can leave now Miss Granger." Hermione turned to retrieve her belongings but was stopped before she could take two steps. "I'll see you in my office for detention straight after dinner."

Hermione's stomach dropped to the floor. This was what she'd dreaded most. She knew she'd be punished for being out so late and generally bothering him. But she'd hoped she'd spend the detention with someone else like Hagrid, heck even Filch would have been a better option. But sadly the universe was working against her and so she headed back to her room to drop off her things before going to dinner.

_How on earth am I going to get through this?_


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione didn't eat much at dinner that evening. She sat in silence, much like at lunch, and pushed what little food she'd bothered to serve herself around the plate. Even the appearance of desert did nothing to encourage her appetite. With a sigh she decided to abandon the idea of food. She stood from her seat and left the hall to go to the dungeons for detention. She was early so she decided to take a detour to pass the time.

After wandering in the general direction of the dungeons for a good 15 minutes Hermione finally arrived outside the door to Snape's office.

_I can't do this. I can't face him now._ She began to pace outside the door trying to gather enough 'Gryffindor courage' to knock on the dark wood. But before she could get very far it opened anyway. The Professor glared down at her as she tried desperately to shrink into herself.

"I do hope you're not planning on staying out here all night, I'd like to get on with this." He walked back into his office, leaving the door open for her to follow him through.

Hermione stood in front of Professor Snape's desk, wringing her hands and fixing her gaze to the floor.

"Take a seat, Miss Granger." He drawled.

Hermione obeyed and took the seat he'd indicated to. A piece of parchment, a quill and a pot of ink lay on the table before her and she looked at Snape expectantly.

"You will be writing lines tonight, Miss Granger, as I don't expect cleaning without magic will be much of a task for someone with a muggle upbringing."

Hermione nodded, seeing the logic behind this. "W-what am I to write, Sir?" She asked tentatively.

"You will write: 'I will not form inappropriate attachments to my Professors.'"

Hermione felt her cheeks begin to burn and tears stung her eyes. _He's mocking me. But I can't let him see it affect me. _So instead of objecting she asked, with as much calm as she could muster, "how many times, Sir?"

"I think 200 lines will suffice."

Hermione nodded and picked up the quill. _200? That's outrageous! _She dipped the quill into the ink and began to write. Around the 40th line her wrist began to ache so she took a couple of seconds to rest her hand, rubbing fruitlessly at her wrist to try and calm the burning sensation. She risked a look up at the Professor where he sat hunched over his desk, his own quill working furiously to coat a poor student's essay in red ink. His black hair hung in front of his face, blocking it from her view, but she was sure his custom scowl was set in place.

At that moment Snape stilled, quill hovering inches above the parchment, and raised his head to meet Hermione's startled gaze.

"Find something interesting, Miss Granger?" He asked, as his eyebrow rose.

Hermione panicked, she had been caught staring at him.

"O-of course not Sir." She squeaked, and then realising what she just said, quickly backtracked. "I don't mean that you're not… I mean of course you are, but…wait no, I mean…it's just that…" She trailed off and stared helplessly at her Professor whose brow had continued to arch with her fumbling.

"Indeed. You are in detention, Miss Granger, and as unfamiliar as these circumstances may be to someone such as yourself, you will be quiet and get on with the task I have assigned." And with that he returned to his marking.

Hermione resumed her lines with grim determination, wanting to be out of the Professor's presence as quickly as possible.

It took another half an hour before she'd finished and by then her wrist was on fire and her stomach was in knots from the shameful words she was forced to repeat. She looked up hesitantly to find the Professor watching her, a strange glint in his eye. Hermione cleared her throat awkwardly, feeling it had gone slightly dry.

"I-I'm finished, Sir."

Professor Snape hummed in response, not taking his eyes from hers as he stood from his desk and moved to stand before her. He leaned down on the table and looked at the now trembling Gryffindor intently.

"Tell me, Granger, what made that usually brilliant mind of yours decide to go and do something so foolish as to develop this silly fancy?" Hermione was unable to reply, instead marvelling at how the Professor could manage to give her a compliment while still making her feel incredibly insulted. It didn't seem as though he was expecting one anyway as he carried on, his voice dropping to a dangerous growl. "What baffles my mind even further is that it's me you have developed it for. Are the other boys just not good enough for you? Not enough of a challenge. Could you just not resist the temptation of trying to tame a Death Eater?" He was out right snarling at her now.

Hermione was beyond insulted. How could he disregard her feelings in such a callous way?

_Because he's Snape, _her mind told her.

_But even so, to put my feelings down to such a meaningless cause, acting as if this is voluntary. Like I would willingly fall for such a Bastard!_

_Yet you did fall for him. _

_And how sadistic must that make me?_

Hermione finally calmed her thoughts enough to form a coherent sentence. "It's not like that –"

"Then pray tell what it is 'like'. Thought you would push your limits again and aim high? I have to say, I knew you worshipped your precious Professors, however I didn't realise it was to the extent of bedding them."

"That's not it! You're not some rare beast to capture and domesticate, or a bloody notch to add to the bed post if that's what you're assuming!" she cried. "I didn't just wake up one day and think, 'hm I don't feel like reading today, oh I know, I'll ruin my education, and consequently my life, by going after my fucking potions professor! I'm sure he'll be just thrilled '!"

Professor Snape just continued to glare down at her as her chest rose and fell with her escalated breathing.

"20 points from Gryffindor for inappropriate language and attitude towards your Professor," he drawled.

Hermione sighed in exasperation, "of course. Why would I expect anything different."

"I don't know, Miss Granger. But clearly you must if you have formed this…attachment to me." He was leaning down now, close enough for Hermione to feel his breath brush against her skin. "I suggest you wake up and join the real world again."

Hermione huffed, "Oh don't worry, Sir. I'm perfectly aware of how, disagreeable, you can be. I'm not an idiot, I know how illogical it is to see you in that kind of light, but it can't be helped."

"It can and will be. You will put this deranged idea from your mind immediately and return to your normal life, and leave me to mine."

"I don't see why you're so worked up. It's not like you're the one with the apparent mental deficiency," Hermione grumbled.

Snape sighed and took a step backwards, pinching the bridge of his nose to ward off the oncoming headache. When he looked at Hermione she saw how truly weary he seemed, and her heart ached to see him like that.

"I'm sorry, Professor," She began, fiddling with the quill lying across her filled parchment. "I know this can hardly be fair on you. I never meant to inconvenience you with this but…" She couldn't continue. At that moment she couldn't take it anymore and she felt the ache in her chest burst as her tears over flowed. The small droplets fell to the parchment, smudging the ink. "I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry Professor, I can't help it. I didn't do it knowingly it just happened and…I'm sorry." She tried to cover her face and muffle her sobs; it was so embarrassing for Snape to see her break down like that.

Hermione expected some scathing remark about useless tears and how pathetic she was but none came. Instead she felt herself being pulled up from her seat and long, wool-clad arms stiffly position themselves around her, pulling her towards a tense but warm body. Hermione stiffened but the arms only drew tighter. Once it was clear that Snape wasn't about to let go of her anytime soon she let the tears fall again, sobs wracking her body as she clung helplessly to her Professor's robes.

Snape sighed, staring down at the frizzy head beneath his chin. Why, of all the students did it have to be her? At least it's not one of the hormone driven girls who spend more galleons on makeup than food. Snape suppressed a shudder at the thought. No, if one of his students had to…'fall' for him, he was lucky it was Granger. But that doesn't explain why I'm currently holding her.

Professor Snape was a harsh, cruel man. He knew that and was quite proud of the reputation he'd built for himself. However, once he saw the usually stubborn and strong Gryffindor break down in tears it was like the walls he had built up around himself had crumbled. It wasn't just the waterworks, something he repeatedly found infuriating when coming from his students; it was the fact that this brave young girl's tears were for him. Sure, she was crying because of a conflict within herself, but he was at the route of that conflict.

So he stood there, his arms wrapped around the shuddering young girl as she calmed from her outburst. When her tears finally stopped he still didn't let go, instead choosing to move his hand up and down her back in a soothing motion until he felt her relax further into him.

Once Hermione had calmed down sufficiently she began to think further about her current situation. _I am hugging Professor Snape._

_No, Professor Snape is hugging you. Her mind corrected._

Hermione had tried to imagine how it would feel to have Professor Snape's arms around her, but it could never compare to the real thing. The moment his hand started to move over her back she swore she'd died and gone to heaven. She felt the tension leave her body and let out a small sigh as she nuzzled further into his chest. When Snape still didn't move she dared to move her hands from their death grip on his robes, slowly snaking them around his thin waist.

Snape tensed slightly when she hugged him tighter but remained in place, his hand never breaking its soothing rhythm.

"Miss Granger," He began. His voice was strained but lacked any of its usual severity.

"I'm sorry, just a moment longer. You can do whatever you want, take points, give me more detentions, I don't care. Please just hold me a little longer." She waited for him to pull away but, amazingly, he seemed to hold her even closer, letting out a shaky breath.

"Do you make a habit of trading punishments for personal favours?" He spoke in a teasing tone and Hermione risked a glance up at the familiar face inches away from her own. His bottomless eyes held a strange glint as he examined her face but said nothing more, so she took a chance.

"Not with the other teachers. Only the special ones get a comprise." This earned her a deep chuckle that sent shivers down her spine.

"Indeed." His face became serious once more as he again seemed to examine her face, looking for what, Hermione didn't know. Something resembling a grimace seemed to cross his features and he began to pull away, but Hermione wouldn't let him.

"Professor?"

"Miss Granger, do you understand how improper this is?" He asked in a pained tone, trying to extract himself from her arms.

"Do you understand how inconsequential that is?" He glared at her, making a small effort to free himself again. "No, I made a decision after the battle to never give up on you again! I am not going to let you get away this time. Not after I nearly lost you for good." The tears were beginning to fall again as Snape stopped struggling. He looked down at her in astonishment.

"I don't…How long have you-"

"Since 6th year. Don't ask me how or why, heaven knows I'd like to know the answers. All I know is that I went through those two awful years wracked with guilt. Firstly because I thought there must be something terribly wrong with me to think of you in such a way. And secondly because despite the incident on the astronomy tower, I couldn't stop feeling the way I do about you."

Snape stared down at his trembling student, silence cutting through the empty office. He raised his hand to her cheek and gently wiped away her tears, not fully understanding what he was doing, but knowing he had to.

"Despite the fact I have given you no reason to trust me, never mind like me, and the terrible crimes I committed?" Hermione nodded. "You silly, silly girl."

Hermione would have felt insulted, only he said it with such affection, more like an endearment than a derogatory remark. She smiled shyly up at him.

"Well, I'm a Gryffindor. What do you expect?" And that's when it happened. Professor Snape smiled down at her. Not a smirk or slight turning up of the corner of his mouth but a real smile. His face lit up, making him look younger, and it was enough to make Hermione light headed. And that light-headedness is what she would always blame her next actions on.

Staring into his shining eyes, Hermione raised a hand to his jaw, gently tipping his face down towards her own so their lips were millimetres apart. Snape said nothing, so she carefully rose onto her toes to allow their lips to meet in the gentlest kiss. Their breath mingled as she brushed her mouth over his, then repeated the action more confidently, more firmly than before. When Snape tightened his arms around her, pulling her body flush against his own and began to kiss her back Hermione nearly fainted.

Hermione's hands moved up Snape's chest and around his neck to bury into his silky black hair, trying to pull him as close as possible to her. She let out a low moan when the kiss became more hungry and demanding, flicking out her tongue along the seam of his thin lips. He eagerly met her with his own, taking the chance to explore her warm mouth.

All too soon, Professor Snape pulled away, breathing heavily, to look down at the panting witch in his arms.

"You should go," he said gently. It wasn't so much a dismissal as a firm suggestion, but Hermione still wanted to protest.

"But-" She felt like she'd been slapped in the face. How could he just turn her away like that?

"Shush, I'm referring to how close it is to curfew. Believe me when I say that sending you away is the last thing on my mind," he gave her an appreciative glance causing her to tremble. This seemed to snap him back to reality and his stern teaching voice returned. "But this shouldn't have happened anyway. Just imagine how terrible it would be for your reputation if this got out."

"I can't believe you!" Hermione cried, catching Snape off guard. "You can't kiss me like that and then tell me it shouldn't happen. And who cares about reputation? It's not like I'm about to announce it to the entire world and get you fired and myself expelled now am I?" Hermione took a deep breath to calm herself again before continuing, staring up into his fathomless eyes. "I'm not asking you to become some romantic, I like you for you and I just want you to give me a chance. Do you think you could do that?"

Snape was silent for a while as he looked into Hermione's eyes, looking desperately for the deception they were surely holding. But he found none. _How can I possibly turn down an offer like that?_

_But she's a student half your age._

_So? She's of age and clearly willing. I see no problem._

"Very well," he sighed. "But I don't want you approaching me whenever you feel like it. I will arrange any…meetings, can you accept that." The smile Hermione gave him was dazzling.

"Of course, Severus."

Snape stared at her, jaw slack at hearing her use his given name.

"What's wrong? You can hardly expect me to keep calling you Professor after that can you, at least when we're alone. Please, call me Hermione."

He nodded. "Very well, Hermione. But only when we're alone. I doubt I need to explain the severity of the consequences should you slip up in public."

"Hardly."

He nodded again. "Then I think it's time for you to return to your room."

"Okay then," she replied meekly. She glanced up hopefully at him. "Do I at least get a good night kiss?"

Snape sighed but leaned down all the same, letting their lips meet in a chaste kiss. "Now go, before I have to give you another detention."

Hermione laughed, "oh heaven forbid." She opened the door to his office and stepped through, smiling back at him as she left the room. "Good night, Severus."

"Good night, Hermione."

And she was gone.


End file.
